The Dangers Of Love

The warning signs are there, but ignored. The neurochemical cocktail floods your brain, reducing activity in fear and judgement. Love triggers many reward circuits similar to addiction manifesting into the physical. That motivation drives us to act anyway. We see the literal sign that says "wet paint" but we still sneak a touch to check as a tiny risk. Our mind constantly calculating is this worth it? How do people place faith into that warning?

We know that it is worth the danger because I tell you these thoughts with a painted hand.

Someone dealing with traumatic events, can struggle in love, perhaps more so in letting someone into our comfort zone. We stay hypervigilant and guarded, not allowing ourselves vulnerability to feel safe. It protects us we think, to dodge true connection. Much better to feel nothing at all, locking away the way we really feel, too many times masking it with dangers of their own. Turning to drinking excessively, substance abuse, gambling, risky relationships, any vice that fills that void they once took residence.

According to the VA, approximately 5-10% of us with PTSD face challenges involving:

• intimacy

• sex drive

• communication

• avoidance

• attachment

Communication is a cornerstone of any relationship. I am self-aware enough to know I struggle with it in my own life dealing with PTSD. I am blessed to see the signs now and having touched that wall, follow the warnings. The challenges we face with this impacts our bond with the people we care about and even ourselves. Dealing with conflict can be affected by difficulty solving problems and brain fog. We may not respond to others how they understand and cause resentment. A lot of us just don't want to communicate whatsoever and just be left alone.

Constant detachment isolates us from our purpose. All of us, in all branches, in all public safety careers, had a mission to protect others from threats foreign and domestic. Why though do we so readily refuse to protect ourselves, then ironically, from ourselves. Our worst critic sits within like an anchor. Every self driven negative thought is a link in its' chain. Carrying that around, it is no wonder that we are tired constantly, easily burnt out, one wrist to the chain, one wrist holding the mask up that we are fine.

By no means am I guilting myself or others into being a social butterfly, we all need to recharge. I do think that we need to forgive ourselves for being human while balancing responsibility to not repeat the mistakes we make. It can feel hurtful to see love behaving differently. The reaction to it is common and natural. You are not alone. The WARPIG foundation strives to educate and assist in healing the body and mind of those brave enough to reach out and simply ask for help. The ones that have disregarded the wet paint signs and checked anyway. A smile and wave from the hands that carry the paints mark know already that curious minds and hands make the best painters. The paint is the blood bond we share as brothers and sisters, caught literally red-handed in that mutual love for one another and ourselves. If we can love ourself, then we can love others the same-

and where is the danger in that? The danger was never in touching the paint. The danger was convincing ourselves we were better off feeling nothing.